“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available,
the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.”
☁zena
6th September
CHIJ SECONDARY TOA PAYOH
SECONDARY 3/7 '09
CONCERT BAND; PERCUSSION!♥
allstarz-roks@hotmail.com
i'm happy today. tmr's dance night. but before that, i'm meeting janet to go buy birthday presents first then go for dance night. hope i'm not late like today. felt so bad.
so today, met janet outside breadtalk at tp hub. went to subway for so-called lunch. damn early. walked around and we decided to go you know the kodak there? hahaha. yeah. janet was the one who wanted to develop the photos at first. but i was thinking of developing also. so yeah, in the end, only i developed. but the picture i took it from janet. the one taken at retreat. hahaha. she transferred it to her phone what. so i took from her to develop. and another 3 pictures from me.
hahaha. janet helped me do some editing to 2 of the photos. THANK YOU JANET! <3 hahaha. yup.
went back to school after that to do homework. was doing our maths homework which we received on wednesday during extra lessons.(: hahaha. i managed to solve some questions that janet couldn't. first time you know! hahaha. she solved 1 though. heehee. i'm damn mean but during the process of trying to solve, the 2 of us were damn mad. especially janet. hahaha. we were damn over-reacting. but who cares. we had fun.
saw veronica and kinny halfway. veronica asked me to try this tomato? forgot what is it. i didn't want it and she fine me. fine fine veronica. hahaha. and then saw felicia with roslyn and clarise. they were doing in the interview of the new comm members. i didn't know they needed to be interviewed. hahaha. (:
yup. then jayni and xinyi went to find veronica and kinny because they had to go to SJI for their dance night duty thingy. hahaha. and then they left and i was still in school with janet! hahaha. yup. decided to sit near the trackers thanks to janet. she arh, change here and there one know. hahaha. jac chua came to disturb. wasted 15minutes of my time. hahaha. okay. but it was fun. (:
yup. & i'm so disappointed! because of the rain, they closed the singapore flyers. which means we have to go another day instead. yup. but since we were there, my parents and cousin decided to go suntec city to walk around. we ate yami youghurt! hahaha. yup. walked around and by the time we reached home, it was 8.55pm. (: hahaha. yeah.
quite fun luh today. just that i didn't manage to go for singapore flyers. sigh.
FINE! I ADMIT THAT THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG ABOUT ME ZENA TAN!
THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY MENTALITY! THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY BRAIN! I NEED A CLEAN AND CLEAR BRAIN-WASH! I NEED MY MEDICINE TO BE ALWAYS WITH ME SO THAT I CAN CONTROL MYSELF AND NOT GO CRAZY AT ANY POINT OF TIME!
DON'T WORRY PEOPLE! I'LL GO SEE THE MENTAL DOCTOR AT WOODBRIDGE TMR! I'LL TRY MY BEST TO STAY THERE FOREVER SO THAT I CAN HAVE MY DAILY CHECK-UPS!
OKAY OKAY? I BET YOU THINK IT WAS A THING THAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE EARLIER! WHAT IS WRONG ZENA? NOTHING IS WRONG! ONLY ZENA HAS A MENTAL PROBLEM!
OKAY? SO JUST LEAVE THE MAD PERSON ALONE THANK YOU!
i'm talking to shannen about things that i've long wanted to say but didn't know how to. but since they were doing things that i didn't like, i've decided to say it. first of all, shannen: there's nothing you can do to help because no matter what i say, you still won't agree. so no matter how much you ask, there won't be any solutions to help. i appreciate but no matter how much you say, i still won't believe. and that's because none of you understand and none of you bothered.
nicole:trust me. none of them okay? stop saying that you do, in actual fact, it's no one.
i can tell you, the only people who understands now is only chantel. i told her a lot the other day when we fought and said everything we wanted to. rachel too. i told them everything. but i guess rachel don't really understand. she's still young. sorry rachel, if you're reading this, no offense. it would be great if you did understand.
so yeah, nothing you 2 do will help because it's the fact. and we've got to face it.
okay. this may sound a little lame but i'm still excited! I'M GOING TO THE SINGAPORE FLYERS WITH: MY MUMMY!; MY DADDY!; MY SISTER!; ESTHER!(COUSIN); ZENITH!(NIECE); MUICHOO!(COUSIN); WEIXIONG!(COUSIN); CHANTEL!(NIECE); CRYSTAL!(NIECE)
how fun will it be? i really wonder. hahaha. and 2 other guys that are scared of heights so they aren't taking and that's why i'm not including them. hahaha. mean right? who cares. hahaha.
going on friday for now. but i'm not sure if esther can make it. everyone has said yes except her. was supposed to go with rachel(niece) too. but her mother say she can't go because she has to study for PSLE. but i mean, she can't stay home 24 hours what. if it was my mother, she would still allow. sigh.
nevermind. i still love her. hahaha. i love all of them in fact! <333!
what's with girls' home?! why is he always thinking about putting people into girls' home?! crazy i think. he must be mad. and thinking about locking someone up in the storeroom. seriously crazy.
and she's always able to link everything to results. very great imaginery you have! i'm so "proud" of you. always comparing results with other people. comparing with eveybody you know, i mean. tsk.
damn annoying. sigh. sigh. sigh.
i'm so bored. only shannen's talking to me now. i feel so stupid these days. i can't seem to get things right! how? maybe i've become a person without a brain. BRAIN-DEAD you know you know?! that's me i guess.
RAH; of course i love you all luh. hahaha. don't be ego as me yeah? no good.
sick of the other one already. see too much of grey already. (:
had band just now. as in went for jr band first because steph was there. and then went for lunch with her. saw janet and the other trackers having their study date before their trg. they're damn weird i tell you! seriously.
afer lunch was band. most os the time was having sectionals at the 3rd level. i suck at pirates luh. just get it right. merry widow also. monica's part. sighs. how to go for audition like that?!
audition is like on the 7June can?! die already die already. had combined for the left 15minutes. had a runthrough of the 3 songs.
went home after that and now here posting. i can be REAL LAME at times. why i say that? it's because i'm being lame now. from the way i post, it's lame.
got so annoyed by the blogskin just now. thanks to steph, she helped me! love her!
meeting janet & maybe seraphina on friday for study. but it's in the morning because janet has trg in the afternoon.
been quite moody this few days i don't know why. but it's better today.
junior band tmr. i'm going because i've to be in school damn early because of my sister. (: so i'll meet steph i guess. but maybe i'll be late. not confirmed yet.
and shannen and nicole are 2 weird people. RAH! hahaha. visit. (:
there's one about the RIP of percussionists.(: visit too! (: RAH
omg. what's wrong with me?! i feel damn bitched today. i'm pissed too.
first you wanted me to switch places and i was lazy that i didn't want to. then after that i say i'll switch and then you still got angry. what's the problem with you?!
and the class damn screwed. 3/4 of the class signed up for banner and in the end, who came? -JANET -JACQUELINE -GRACE -SAMANTHA -JIAWEN(she didn't really painted but she came and stayed for quite long) -ME
that's what? only 7 of us. how smart, how smart. shujun and lynette did the drawing and the rest didn't even cared that all of them went home. while the 7 of us stayed in school until damn late to finish the freaking banner. jiawen and grace left at 6-7 + and the rest of us left at 7.30+.
we had to clean up and everything while the rest were at home playing and sleeping. RAH. damn stupid. i don't know luh. i know i was a little wrong today for walking off just like that but since i wasn't happy about staying within you all and that i was feeling extra, i rather just leave then waste my time. at least i get to come home and sleep.
aiya. i don't know how to say luh. i just feel extra and think that i am extra okay. can tell that some of you'll don't really like it that i'm there or something so isn't it better that i just leave?
yes. it is. RAH. plus, i'm PMS-ing now. so it's even worse.
hey hey! okay. heather didn't come to school today and my papers suck like totally. got back 3 papers today. damn stupid. i admit i'm stupid luh.
okay. so band today. wasn't sectionals. SIR came.
after that, went for dinner with veronica and shannen at koufu in tp. took MRT to city hall for RI concert. we walked damn long before being able to find the place. that percussionist rolled on the mallets damn well luh.
went to Bishan with veronica and shannen after the whole concert. in the MRT, shannen and i was laughing at veronica luh. damn funny luh she. she's weird too. suddenly talked about HL milk. about buying 2 get 1 free and give a pouch. hahaha.
i forgot what shannen said though. (: so we went to the bishan macs to get ice-cream and took some pictures. shannen takes a long time to upload. i wonder how long will it take her this time. hahaha. yeah.
my mother says i'm stupid because i studied like crap but still got SUPER low marks. she asked me to get prepared to go to normal next year. she just won't believe me luh. i wonder when is the day of asking her to believe that i can study to get good results will ever come.
IJ fiesta tmr. veronica is super excited. i'm feeling okay okay. not as excited as someone luh. because her *ahem ahem* would be there too! HAHAHA!
ohya! i remembered something. veronica was being super weird by going to the front after the whole concert to tell the percussionist that he played his solo well. hahaha. but she didn't tell him face to face. she told this girl from RGS to tell the guy. she's damn random i tell you. shannen also. sighs.
okay. so after all the stupid results, i'm supposed to try to be happy again and think about the other exams? okay. maybe i'll try. but for now, i'm damn tired. maybe i'll sleep now. maybe only. (:
hello! got back 4 papers today! damn depressed to see my history. thanks ruhui, heather, janet, christabel and seraphina for comforting! GREATLY APPRECIATED! THANKS SO MUCH! LOVE YALL'!
science was depressing too. just like what veronica said. i'm having a bad streak this mid-years. even though i studied! don't study, fail. study, also fail. i wonder what's the problem.
so i'm getting maths, lit and geog tmr. sure die. maths paper 2 was like damn difficult luh. & for now, chinese is the highest but damn low. seriously. i guess the whole class deproved although most of the whole class studied like crap. rah.
stupid papers. hate them!
okay. going for RI concert with veronica and shannen tmr. so sorry shannen that you have to get your ticket there instead. blame the person for not wanting to pass it to me beforehand. so sorry.
IJ fiesta on friday and i'll get free ice-cream! hahaha. yeah yeah. i know you're jealous nicole. too bad. hahaha.
i shall go watch stupid tv again. hahaha. reminds me of how i make fun of shannen. (:
so i guess it's all my fault again. thanks so much. i'll never forget what happened. i don't know what's your freaking problem. but anyway, thanks. thanks for making me feel so miserable like how you think i'm making you miserable. thanks for say that i suck up to people. thanks for all the mean things you said.
i've nothing more to say to you. if you think it's my fault that you became emo then too bad. to think that i actually felt guilty about last time and thinking about how to say sorry. but since you want to do it this way then too bad. the guilt in me is gone.
if anyone of the seniors are reading this, am i sucking up to you all? answer with honesty because i really want to know. the thing i want to do now is just bang myself and die immediately. when i'm gone, none of this will happen. so yeah, maybe i'll do it when i'm really over the limit.
STUPID PERSON! REMEMBER TO READ THIS I TELL YOU! REMEMBER WHAT MS KOH SAID RED REPRESENTED?! IT REPRESENTS HATRED, ENEMY!
I HATE YOU! ALL YOUR STUPID CRAP ABOUT ME! I INTENDED TO SAY SORRY ABOUT THE OTHER TIME. BUT SINCE YOU OPENED YOUR BIG FAT MOUTH AND BITCHED ABOUT ME, I'M NEVER SAYING SORRY EVER AGAIN! MARK MY WORDS!
NEVER SAYING SORRY TO YOU AT ALL! IF I EVER SAY IT, I'LL JUST GET BANGED DOWN BY A CAR!
I'M NEVER TALKING TO YOU EVER AGAIN! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, YOU FREAKING FAKO! I'LL HATE YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
WHEN DID I EVER PULL THEM AWAY FROM YOU?! STUPID FAKO. IF I DID, THEN I'M NEVER TALKING TO ANYONE EVER AGAIN. HAPPY NOW?! NO ONE WILL FIGHT WITH YOU TO TALK TO THEM OR EVEN SUCK UP TO THEM. I TRY TO TALK TO THEM ON MY BLOG?!
PLEASE LUH. WHEN DID I EVER DO THAT. PLEASE THINK THROUGH AND SHOW THE EVIDENCE BEFORE OPENING YOUR STUPID FREAKING MOUTH. YOU SUCK BIG TIME NOW!
I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN PEOPLE READS THIS POST. I'M NEVER TALKING TO ANYONE EVER AGAIN. STUPID YOU. TRYING TO SPOIL MY NICE RELATIONSHIPS WITH MY FRIENDS. SERIOUSLY, YOU'RE A LOSER. BE ANGRY WITH ME FOR ALL I CARE. I HATE YOU AND THAT'S FINAL. I'M CHANGING MY ATTITUDE TOWARDS YOU. I'LL JUST REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE NOT IN THIS WORLD AT ALL AND YOU DON'T APPEAR IN MY FACE AT ALL.
I'LL REMEMBER THAT YOU NEVER EXISTED HERE AND THAT I'LL REMEMBER THAT YOU SUCK BIG BIG TIME! GO AWAY! I HATE YOU!
STUPID PERSON. DON'T EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN BECAUSE I'LL NEVER TALK TO YOU!
went for lunch with steph after band. went home after that.
congratulations to jayni who got water baptised today! <3 hahaha. went to macs with felicia, shannen and freda after the whole thing. felicia saw her friend so they sat with them. they wanted to get chairs for us to sit but a bit extra, so shannen and i went to sit at another table. we had a senior-junior talk. hahaha
when felicia came to our side, we totally stopped talking. she gave me a scare in one of the times okay. suddenly pop out from nowhere. she left with freda and her friends first while shannen and i was still talking for a while. went back to the church there and took a bus to tp interchange. then took a bus back to my house.
shannen came to my house and my mother brought us to this ice-cream place near my house. it's called ICEcube.(ICE3) hahaha. so yeah. bought the ice-cream and we walked around. we were sitting outside coffee bean and cafe cartel. hahaha. shannen thinks that the chair that we sat on was freaking cold. hahaha.
she went back to my house to wash her hands thanks to her ice-cream. hahaha. then we watched this show. damn freaky. but it was better towards the end. shannen watched till she didn't dare to go to the lift at her house. hahaha.
we are planning something to do during june holidays though. (: heehee. i think it'll be fun if it's a success yeah!
maths trail on tuesday, SENTOSA!
and poor veronica the great that she waited for her bus to arrive. you should seriously chill veronica. it happens. it happened to me before so yeah. i know it's irritating to wait but yeah. think of nannies and you'll be fine. and you owe nannytan something. okay. kidding. i'm ego. you should know. <3
hello! went out with janet and melissa just now. hahaha. watched movie at J8. went to pizza hut for lunch. we watched "what happened in vegas". damn funny. omg. hahaha. yup, then went to united square for ben&jerry. saw ms mara there! HAHAHA! oh. after that went to novena square 2. we bought earrings. 3 of us bought the same one and then another 2 pairs for ourselves because 3 pairs for $5. reached home at about 6pm++. hahaha. had a fun time. band's starting tmr. damn fast. rah. okay. shall have my dinner now. bye~ <3
woohoo. hahaha. finally, the last paper's done! going out with janet, melissa and jac tmr. to somewhere gay but heck. hahaha. i guess geog paper was easier than i thought. as in most of the things that came out were the things that i studied in majority. except some questions which i didn't know how to do. was crapping through out the whole answer.
band's starting this saturday. so fast. only 2 weeks of break. rah. there goes my weekends. oh. jayni's getting water baptised on saturday too. i still don't know the way there. forgot the bus that she told me to take to get there. oh well, maybe i'll ask felicia if i can meet her and shannen before going. hahaha.
monday's marking dayyyy~ and veronica has to go back for her SPA while i slack at home. she slacked while i was doing math paper yesterday and geog paper today. oh. and talking about maths. it was damn difficult. rah. it's a confirm screw for this SA. oh welll~